For many years now, I have suffered in silence waiting for my help to come. Waiting for God Almighty to save me. In crying daily to Him, in asking that he would save me, in being on my hands and knees in prayer begging for this trial to end.
He in His goodness and mercy, decided to rather walk through this horrific trial with me, instead of removing me from it altogether.
For His good pleasure, He has wanted me to go through this massive trial, a trial so big that it sets all previous trials in my life as but cake.
But He has chosen to walk through it with me in order to create in me a more pure and obedient, and most importantly, faithful heart. I do not rejoice in the vast pain I’ve experienced but I rejoice in my experiential knowledge and deepening fellowship with the One I call Lord. It is for Him I live my life. It is for His glory I maintain my life, for I’d much rather be with Him in eternity than walking through all of life’s difficulties with you here on earth.
However, in order that His name be proclaimed to the world, I have sat in silence for many years, in order to become the woman, the vessel, He wants me to be. It is in this context, through my own hand, guided by the Lord Himself, I write this to you today.
You are being deceived dear ones!
Many in your midst are false teachers, wolves in sheep’s clothing and the occasional Christian gone astray yet still pretending to be something they are not.
I have spent over 5 years at Heritage Bible Church in Boise, ID. I have seen the underbelly of callousness, selfishness, and pride amidst the leaders. And it brings me to tears to say this, you’re all being led astray.
Do you not research one another?
Do you not follow?
Do you not care?
Let me show you what I mean. This man you’ve known all his life is hiding something big. Do you not see? Look at how he parades Mormonism, a false and evil religion around.
Does no one confront him? Or see how he shares videos of half-dressed women.
Do you not care? Are your hearts so petrified yourselves that you no longer look at your fellow believers?
He says it here bluntly in this video:
“But amongst the lost sheep, I prefer to walk, aimlessly!”
Even if I am completely wrong about everything I’ve been saying about him this whole time, can you excuse yourself from helping a brother, who is CLEARLY in sin and going the wrong way? Are we not called as God’s people to put our arms around each other in love and mercy and loosen the grip of the devil? Where are his friends that would prevent this???
This is ONE example of how fully and completely BLIND the church is.
Do you need others, friends of yours to commit suicide (remember that, Jim?!) for you to WAKE UP and see that the church itself has gone on the wrong path for so long?
Everyone is always in a rush to do this or do that in service. There’s so much superficiality and the good ones that genuinely care and love, leave. Because no one will listen.
I watched as I tried to speak and comfort a new girl who was crying after service, within earshots range (we heard) be told we needed to leave. The elders were closing up the church. Is this not why the church exists in the first place??? To comfort, heal and protect the hurting?
Or why should God expect you to be kind to a stranger when you let your OWN people kill themselves? Does no one care?
I told the truth about Kyle from the beginning. Did you not already see?
Jane, you MUST have heard when Jim raised his voice and yelled at me in that conference. The door is not that thick and you were right there. Do you just turn your head and pretend you don’t hear?
Sandi, you saw Kyle coming to me and how everything I foretold you was happening. How he was following me in the church, being close to me, hugging me, flirting. Yet you shrink back also at this?
How you all watched Jim Harris skip a complete step in Matthew 18 before kicking me out of the church? When was the time for you all to come to me, try to pull me back if I was lying? Matthew 18:17. Where was the part about telling it to the church so everyone could come after me?
I watched Jim and Scott Freeman dance around the truth. How they told me to my face, “I could marry anyone between the ages of 18-99” and yet all the sudden, it was wrong and sin for me to be with Kyle?
How they threatened Kyle, saying if he would be with me he could be but he would be fired as youth assistant, stating “not because it’s wrong but because we don’t want anyone else to do it.”
I asked to leave the church, seeing their sin and confronting it and not being listened to. I asked to put in my resignation as a member of the church and how they DENIED IT, saying I couldn’t leave the church. They rejected it, only then to later kick ME out when I refused to lie and say Kyle didn’t like me. And then following it up with, “If you try to go to any other church in the area, we will make sure they know of your sin also and you won’t be able to go there either.”
Banning me from being able to worship God with other believers (which goes against Hebrews 10:25) and trying to frighten by bullying tactics, God’s children. You walked with me five years. You visited my home. You knew I was a godly woman an din all that time, did you EVER see me flirt with ANYONE?
To be called the names I’ve been called and accused of the things you guys have accused me of is completely wrong. You know me! You know I wasn’t like that, yet you didn’t say a word. Why?
Why wasn’t Matthew 18:17 brought up? Why wasn’t the yelling and flirting ever brought up?
Do you not see how Jim and Scott Freeman play both sides?
God is angry and Jim will lose his physical life by God, as punishment to his own GREAT sin. Scott Freeman shall be kicked out. He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing and I pray God give you the eyes to see it.
Kyle will also lose his physical life for his GREAT sin as punishment from the Lord. How he has done harmful and devious things to me. From the beginning, Kyle has been illegally on my stuff. When I ignore him and don’t talk to him, he turns off my TV. He attacks me, so I am forced, by abuse, to stay.
When I create printables, he moves lines and adjusts colors of fonts and the like. It’s a big cat-and-mouse game to him; every move I make he destroys. I worked two weeks on a digital planner he completely destroyed. All my work, gone. He goes on my computer and deletes files so I have to start from scratch, deletes things out of Shopify so customers are affected, he has deleted large amounts of people off my newsletter list several times.
He pauses my TV to send messages to me, he shuts down my TV to force me to spend time with him when he wants to as a way to control me. He kills my income and tries to destroy everything I do. He attacks my friends online, making them leave so that I am all alone. He turns my heater way up to heat me in the summer or way down in the winter to freeze me by the app on my phone. He adds typos/errors to my work so that I look like an idiot. He’s on every single electronic device I have and uses them as listening devices.
So I went to a computer repair shop here locally. I told them all this and how Kyle was making my life unbearable, trying to destroy me. I told him how Kyle was turning on my computer in the middle of the night and destroying it and deleting files. The owner said that’s not possible. I said, “Well, this is what is happening, check it out.” He looked over my computer and come to find out, I WAS telling the truth (shocker) and the computer repair shop found and deleted it but Kyle got back on.
He given me a virus to destroy my computer and in the past few years, I’ve had to replace TWO computers because of him. I’ve lost everything.
As if this is not bad enough, Kyle is not ALONE!
As I told Jim and Scott Freeman when all this first started, to their faces, Ryan knows about all this. Ryan was there on moving day and he was flirting with me just as Kyle was. They were competing and Ryan knows it. I told Jim that day in the meeting to question Ryan, he could prove what I’m saying is true but they refused to question him. They said, “We don’t think Ryan is saved, so his testimony wouldn’t matter.” So someone has to be Christian to see and understand the truth???
Still, not too big of a problem for God. He can do anything, right?! So, a few years later Ryan caught Kyle on my stuff. Kyle left his computer for a few minutes and Ryan got on while he was away and saw Kyle was watching me. He knew.
Still, it is not enough to prove Kyle and I have been having a romantic relationship because after all, Kyle has been trying to have sex with other women! First with Jaz and then another. While he was with me and unknown to me, he was dating them. God prevented Kyle from having sex with them and prevented him having sex with the second girl several times. Because Kyle couldn’t get sex from her, he broke up with her. Great guy, huh?!
How could I possibly know this? Ask me ANY details of their encounters and I can tell you it all! I was shown details! I saw the whole thing. Every word uttered, every roaming hand, every situation. Just ask! He cheated on me. We were together at the time he was fooling around with them. So he not only cheated on me, but he cheated on them as well (I can provide pictures that are public, if necessary).
That is not the worst part. I wish it were, for his sake.
Back in August of last year, Ryan in his evilness got on Kyle’s computer and hacked him. I knew it immediately as God revealed it to me and I led Ryan to Christ!
That’s right! Ryan (Kyle’s twin brother) is a believer now!
See, the church wouldn’t listen. They said Ryan wasn’t saved and so God saved Ryan so they WOULD listen! Isn’t God so clever?!!!
Ryan watched (and recorded for proof) what Kyle was up to. Not only was Kyle on all MY stuff, apparently he was on a neighbor’s computer as well and from what I understand, watching 7 people have sex. The girl he was watching her orgies, tried to get Kyle to join in on them and in God’s judgement, He took her physical life pretty quickly. Kyle got off her stuff after that and has not been on anyone else’s stuff, but mine, since then.
However, all of this is illegal crimes, unfitting of a Christian man to do!
After that, Kyle started liking my daughter, who is now 17 (but was 9 when we all met). He has apparently been watching/stalking her on HER electronic devices (iPad) and she has been enticing him as well. God originally ordained for me and Kyle to be together but in all this gross sin, God’s intention is to take Kyle’s life now due to his sin.
My daughter has been exiled by God and no longer lives with me. After everything I’ve been through, I never imagined my own daughter to betray me like this. To entice the man I loved, who was intended to be her father is sick and wrong. Of course, after my daughter was exiled, Kyle is trying to be with me again, but it’s been long over. We are not engaged anymore when I found out about the other two women he tried to sleep with.
So now, Ryan is coming into the scene, full-time since August, seeing all that Kyle is doing. I have worked with Ryan in all this time, through the power of God to help Ryan become a godly man. At the time I met him, he was married, however confided in me that his wife had an affair. I encouraged him to go back with her because he was struggling with not having sex outside of marriage. God was convicting that He could also save his wife (by becoming a Christian) and save their marriage. He did go back with her but soon after, Ryan was unhappy.
He started falling in love with me and was pursuing me romantically, while with her. God kept trying to get him to love his wife and leave me alone romantically, as did I, however, he would not listen.
God never forces us to obey Him and so He caused Ryan to leave her. He left her a note and left. They are no longer together. Although it would seem like, publicly, like they are, they are not living together. Ryan is still trying to be with me romantically but I would not date him if he is married. I will not wreck a home or do anything bad and encouraged him to be with his wife.
I did feel like there COULD possibly be potential between us later on (me falling in love with him; he’s already been in love with me this whole time) and God was leading in that direction that there COULD be a possibility of us dating in the future now that things are forever over with Kyle and if he decided to divorce his wife because of her affair.
However, Ryan can’t seem to quit all of his bad boy ways and continues to commit adultery. He refuses to divorce his wife, keeping her as a second option if he can’t have me, which is wrong (!) and I’ve told him that many times.
Ryan has changed so many of his bad guy ways since becoming a Christian, his heart is completely different and it’s beautiful, however, some sins (sexually) die hard and he is unwilling to, at this point, not sin sexually.
As for me, there’s no hope with a guy like that. I have only been intimate with one guy in my entire life and that was only while we were married. I have a pretty high no-tolerance sexual sins filter on any potential suitor, so I’m unwilling to consider Ryan to be with him (date him) because of that.
Also, for another reason. Ryan knows all this that is happening between me and Kyle. He is involved in it daily since August also. He’s done his research, he’s investigated things that happened before he got on Kyle’s stuff (now he’s on my stuff directly, though not all of it like Kyle is), and he’s seen first hand many things all these years.
Yet Ryan refuses to come forward to tell the truth. He refuses to go to the church, to be baptized, to tell his wife (separated now but while together) about his newfound Christianity and will not tell his friends. He is embarrassed of Christ, thinks his family will not believe he’s saved and refuses to tell anyone, anything. God has commanded him to tell the truth to the church and his parents but he refuses. This is sin.
Ryan watches Kyle torture me, but does nothing about it. He’s scared. Ryan doesn’t do anything bad to me (attacking, like Kyle does) except for one time at the very beginning (that I’m aware of) but not since that one time. However, he watches Kyle abuse me and tells no one, which is just as shameful.
To be clear, Ryan also sends messages and shows me he’s there. He, like Kyle, flips my camera on my phone. He also writes letters and words on drafts in my email. He pauses the TV to send messages.
Another thing to be concerned about is that Kyle has started getting drunk. While, as far as I know, Ryan has quit getting drunk, Kyle saw Ryan drinking (knew while talking about it on my computer) and he started. I’ve told him to stop, but he refuses. He’s gone down such a horrific path for so long.
In ending this frightful “book”, I would say that I promise I’m not smart enough to make all this up. Why would I lie? It’s not that I’m trying to be with Kyle – because I’m not! He is not a godly man and not someone I’d want to be with. What other possible reason would I have for saying this? Attention? Anyone who knows me at ALL, knows I’m a massive wallflower, constantly running AWAY from attention. To gain income? I had that and have lost just about everything BECAUSE of Kyle.
I tell it because it’s the truth and I’m fully willing to back up all claims. If you should choose not to believe, then send me to take a lie detector test with the police. In fact, send us ALL! That would not only reveal the truth, BUT also get them OFF my stuff, which is a crime! So send me, I’m willing. The reason I haven’t already gone myself is because the Bible says how Christians are not supposed to go to the Gentiles for help but should settle the matters amongst themselves. So I suffer at the cruel hand of Kyle, my torturer, and the hand of someone who sees yet remains silent, and every day I pray my Father save me.
Now I ask this of you: What do you believe? Because I promise you, God is coming soon to set all things straight and I want to see you sparred the judgment that is coming to those that do not repent.
For all those that are onlooking at what is happening, who are not a part of Heritage Bible Church, I ask that you pray. Whether you believe I’m telling the truth in all this or you don’t, pray that whatever the truth IS, that it come to light. THEN, my name will be cleared and everyone will know that I’ve been telling the truth this entire time!!!!!!!!!
Update May 3, 2023: Kyle is incredibly gifted in being clever. It’s always been something that impressed me. As he has deleted other pertinent emails from my email box, I want to post this on my blog for proof of his denial of all this, so that it is crystal clear when the truth comes out (God won’t let it stay hidden forever), that he has been stating all along I’m lying and he won’t be able to backpedal or mince words.
Kyle hid THIS email in my spam, knowing I never go in there, so that I would miss his ultimatum date.
In God’s sovereignty I DID see it and went in there unexpectedly and saw this…
Kyle doesn’t want any of his sinful deeds being known, like how he was sleeping with a female teenager in his apartment at night.
Because the Lord is punishing him, he’s not doing so well in all areas and he hides it, so he’s taken up babysitting on the side. Why a 15-year-old girl needs a babysitter, Idk, but even worse is a mom who would allow her 15-year-old daughter to sleep overnight in a single young man’s apartment. Who does that?
I know things.
Ryan knows things.
We both see and Kyle wants his sins to remain hidden, thus this letter (which screams: “hide my sins”). It’s an obvious attempt to not only get me to shut up, but to bully and abuse me all the more, taking away my right to freedom of speech and trying to destroy my blog with Google.
Does this not prove, in his own words, he is trying to destroy my blog?! For doesn’t the Bible say it’s better to be wronged and suffer an offense (1 Peter 3:17) and is not that what I’ve been doing all these years instead of taking him straight to the police*?
*Stated in my Facebook group 5 days ago (before he sent me his letter) when told by someone who cares about me that I should go to the police on this matter:
And Kyle, also having a blog of his own, knows and sees I have not SEO’d or keyworded any of my blog content with his name at all. If you run a google search of his name, none of my posts pop up, I wouldn’t do that to someone (I never have done it before with anyone) so it’s not a google thing at all and has nothing to do with Google. Google doesn’t even know his name is on my blog! It’s just a thinly veiled attempt to hide his sins.
Concerning Reddit, I have no control over that. I’ve never posted on Reddit before in my life, so all those things are not at all from me.
Last, where’s Ryan’s letter in all this? Where is it that HE’S saying I’m lying? I suspect Ryan doesn’t want to lie and say Kyle’s right, he knows he’d go up against God and doesn’t want to, but if he says I am telling the truth, he faces a lot of trouble with the church, family and friends, etc. and doesn’t want to come forward. Therefore, it is my prayer (please join me in prayer) that Ryan come forward and tell the truth. We know where Kyle stands in all this already.
Jim- You accused me of stalking Kyle online to know details of his life. You portrayed me as some girl who’s obsessed with a guy. I assure you, I’m not. Tell me please, how would I know all THIS personal data? Is any of THIS public record somewhere?!?! #itsnot
Do not be deceived loved ones. Satan will use even Christians to accomplish his evil purposes. Satan wants my blog to be destroyed b/c it is a ministry and serves others in the Lord’s name. Satan is using Kyle to do that right now. God will stop it. I have faith.
Please continue to pray for all involved. That the truth come out quickly. Everything I’m saying will be shown to be the truth; let the Lord make speed to that end.
Update #2 – May 3, 2023: Literally WHILE I was writing to update this very blog post, in a time when the update was NOT yet LIVE on the blog (so the only way he could have saw it is IF HE WAS on my computer!!!), Kyle hurried up and emailed me all the sudden like, to my blog email to try to cover his tracks. How much more proof do you need, HBC???? I’ve got plenty.
Me working on/writing the post, and then it went LIVE to the world at 8:16 am…
Him trying to cover his tracks (7:31 am)…
Update #3 – May 4, 2023 – 6:18 pm: Kyle did not like my sharing this with the world and attacked me. He deleted pictures off my most expensive item that I’m selling on Facebook Marketplace, within the last couple hours, to try to harm my income and make the item not sale.
Update #4 – May 11, 2023 – 11 pm: I keep hoping Kyle and Ryan will tell the truth. I keep praying and begging God that the truth will come out. Tonight around 11 pm, I was watching Girl Meets World and they both sent messages. They both talk through shows and movies I watch. As I’m watching something on TV, they will turn off my wifi making the show/movie I’m watching pause and that’s the message. Whatever the character on TV just said, they make it pause to talk to me and send messages. However, tonight was different than normal. Instead of talking and sending messages to ME, they were sending messages to each other!
During that Girl Meets World show (Season 2, Episode 7: Girl Meets the Tell-Tale Tot), Kyle stopped it when they said, “If you just let it happen, there’s a chance we can get away with it.”
Ryan responded by stopping the show when they said, “Your father trusts you. Your mother trusts you. Your brother lied for you.”
Idk the details of what is transpiring between them and their parents and the church, but I can say with boldness that God asked me to update this post and I know for SURE, without a doubt that they will NOT get away with this like Kyle wants.
Why?
Because God is fair. If God is NOT just, or fair, the truth will not come out, and they can continue to hide and lie but I believe the Bible is true and therefore believe, with every ounce of my fiber, I will be set free by God and the truth, all of it, will come out. God IS fair and just. He punishes sin and blesses those in obedience to Him. I await His vindication of me and my testimony in all this.
One other reason that I believe the truth will all come out is because God wants to use me. In the midst of all this trial, I’ve lost soooo much of my income, of blogging traffic, of the ability to serve everyone, of everything. Before I met Kyle, my pageviews were 1.7 million/month at it’s highest point. Now it’s around 150,000/month. A far cry from what it used to be. Kyle has destroyed me. He IS destroying me and he’s getting away with it. I can’t serve other people if there’s no one there to serve! And every step of the way, he’s attacking and destroying God’s work.
So, Kyle stole my heart, because my heart is serving others and he’s taking that away from me.
I know that God will not allow this to go on forever. Because I am in full obedience to the Lord and have been for all of my Christian life now. God WILL avenge me and the truth will come out. It has to. Otherwise, God can’t use me, and I know it’s His will to use me to reach others for Him and His kingdom.
God wouldn’t have set all this up, my whole blog, shop, and courses, just to let someone else come along and crash all HIS hard work (and mine). God’s not like that. He always does something for a reason, so my name will be cleared. The truth will come out and I’ll be victorious BECAUSE God is good and fair and just and holy, and because it’s His purpose to use me for His glory, and I want to be used.
Every day I pray to Him for me to be used, in whatever capacity He wants me to be used, for His glory and His purpose. However long I have to wait to be used again through this blog or however else He wants to use me, I will wait. Because I am His slave and His slave alone. I am not anyone else’s slave and do not answer to man.
I’m not saying I’m not responsible to listen to those in authority over me (police, government, etc.) but I’m saying I don’t answer to THEM. I answer to God (Acts 5:29).
I know that by updating this blog post, I will just be attacked again by Kyle (Ryan doesn’t really ever attack me, it’s Kyle) and I’m willing to put myself on the line and lose absolutely everything, everything I’ve worked hard for, all my income, the traffic, everything, because I know that my God will avenge me. And I wait for Him to show the world that I’m telling the truth. I wait for the church to know the truth, for them to see it, and I wait for the boys (they are 25 years old to all those wondering) to come forward and finally admit what’s happening.
It SOUNDS LIKE, from their messages, that Kyle is trying to sway Ryan to keep quiet and Ryan doesn’t want to. This has been going on since Ryan got onto his computer. I pray that Ryan DOES tell the truth. It sounds like, after this post went LIVE, Ryan lied to everyone, which if he has, grieves me, for his own sake.
I pray that the truth come out, at whatever cost.
No matter which side of the story you’re on or what you believe, we can all agree to pray that the TRUTH come out quickly. I believe that God is giving HBC time to decide what they believe and repent BEFORE He shows them, for what is faith when you see it with your eyes?! So I wait; I am attacked quite frequently, and I do it for THEIR sake. That it be accredited to them to believe and have faith before God shows everyone the truth.
1/3 of the people WILL repent. They will have that accredited to their accounts with God. 2/3 of them will NOT repent. I do this for the 1/3. I suffer for them. That as many as believe, be spared the upcoming punishment.
If you believe in me, God has enlightened your eyes and I’m thankful, please share this story. Get the word out. Sin wants to hide (both with Kyle and Ryan, but also within the leadership of HBC). God has ordained me to expose it. Share my blog and shop with others. I’m suffering for Christ’s sake. Let’s NOT let Satan win this battle, and I need your help. I need your prayers and I need your support. Please join me! All those who believe BEFORE God shows the world the truth, WILL be blessed.
P.s. If you missed some of the back story, it’s here.
Update #5 – March 29, 2024: It’s almost a year later and I’ve never heard any sort of response at all from the church. They continue to go on sinning, pretending nothing is wrong. God will not allow them to get away with such blatant and open sin forever. God is patient and full of lovingkindness, but sin is sin, He is a fair and just God and He will take care of this, whether they admit these things or not.