Some people who do not know me, may think that I am single because no one wants me. Nothing could be further from the truth and those who know me in person, understand.
Everywhere I go, it feels like I have to fight guys off with a stick. I go to church, and they hoover and follow me around. After a couple weeks, one or two start to find “opportunities” to talk to me. But I’m not interested.
One of my spiritual gifts is discernment of spirit. I can read people like you wouldn’t believe. I know who’s good and who’s bad (usually) because I can see people’s souls, their hearts, not just the words coming out of their mouths. I can see who’s for God and who’s pretending fairly quickly (usually). It comes very naturally to me to be able to discern this.
Seeing these guys who chase me, I just know they are not for me. I want a guy on FIRE for the Lord, ready to sacrifice his whole life for God, as I am doing.
I go through the drive-through at a fast food place and a girl tells me I’m pretty and another guy flirts with me. They always do. It used to make my daughter so mad and jealous that all the guys like me and not her (she was 17 at the time and of age for a boyfriend). But all the guys liked me instead and she held it against me, getting bitter in her heart.
But I wasn’t (and am not) doing anything to purposely attract attention from the guys. I dress extremely modestly and do not do anything to provoke or stir love before it is time (Song of Solomon 8:4). Yet, they always follow.
I walk into a computer repair shop and instead of charging me $100 to find the problem and keep my computer overnight, the guy offers to set up my computer right then and there in the shop, find the problem for free, and I’m on my way.
This is all very normal to me. I don’t take pride in it, but I’m sharing this with you so that you understand, for those who do not know me in person.
Guys always hoover around me and honestly, it’s fine. I grew up my whole life around guys. I was always accepted into their “clubs”. I played baseball on an all-boys baseball team, chased lizards in fields, skipped rocks, climbed trees, played video games, and hung out always around guys.
I saw how they operated from an early age, I learned how they worked trying to get a girl and most all were always trying to get me.
But I became too smart for their dumb tricks and after seeing all the games all my life because of that upbringing, guys don’t usually impress me. I’ve seen it all a billion times. What DOES impress me is a gentle man. A man after God’s heart ❤️ and there are a couple like that, but once they like a girl, God goes out the window and it’s all her, all the time.
This only PROVES God was never truly that important to them, if they are willing to ditch God for a skirt.
It’s hard for me to be friends with girls because of a lack of experience but also because some are just so catty and gossip all the time. I can’t stand that. It’s just the way it is, I’m more comfortable around guys. It may be that they sense that and know. Either way, I’m always surrounded by guys. So it’s no shock that I have seven who chase me continually, which brings me to the point of this story.
To each one of them, God has asked me to write this post in order that I, very publicly, REJECT all of them.
This is His will and while I’m not exactly sure why He wants me to write this, when God speaks, I run to obey so here I am, running, not exactly sure why yet, but fully obeying the One I love with all my heart. So here goes. Here’s what He’s impressed upon my heart…
Back in Bible times, when a man wanted to marry a woman (and they all do want to marry me), the suitor would make arrangements with her father to get her. There was an agreement made. Since I have no earthly father (and never really have had one), God plays that role in my life. None of the young men who chase me has my Father’s permission to be with me.
Step 1, you’re out of the game.
I obey my father.
I do what my Father says.
He is my light, my life, my hopes, my dreams, my breath, my air. Without HIS permission, I will not go to any of them and none of them HAVE His permission.
Next, after the man gets the father’s permission and an agreement is made, in Bible times, the man goes off and builds a house for him and his future wife to live in. Usually, it was built off the parent’s home, so that you had sort of like an apartment complex with rooms for each of the sons/daughters to live in.
While the man was building, he would be building fast! Of course!! He is motivated to be with his bride and to marry her so, he builds with his father and they build quickly with focus and determination.
Once the man was done building a home, he would come get the bride. The future bride did not know when he was coming and there were often-times, many girls waiting.
Imagine a man comes and you’re patiently waiting, not knowing if it is YOUR man coming or someone else’s. It’s not yours and you are disappointed. You got your hopes up. “Today is the day for ME”, you thought to yourself, but it wasn’t and you’re sad. But you are prepared. Because when he DOES come to get you, it’s instantaneously and your whole life changes.
No longer do you live with your parents, but this new stranger and his family so near by, literally, one wall over! You have to be prepared, at a moment’s notice, and if you’re not, you are ashamed.
I am prepared! I have spent SO much time, energy, and effort in preparing.
I have my wedding dress and all accoutrements that go with it. I have my flowers and his boutonniere. I have prepared all delicate items for the wedding night. I have a ton of men’s clothing, ties, jackets, etc. in every size so that whatever size my future husband will wear, I will be ready, right off the bat, to provide for him clothing, as is fitting of the Proverbs 31 wife (verse 21).
Spiritually, I have prepared my own life to BE that Proverbs 31 wife in ALL areas. And more than that, I have kept checking in with God while lining myself up to the Proverbs 31 standard to see when I AM ready. He says that I am the standard of the Proverbs 31 wife!!
WOW! What a massive compliment, especially coming from God Himself, who set UP that standard!!
I tell you, I am ready in heart, mind, spirit, and physically.
I have a home, in which I’ve worked super hard for and have taken great care to decorate it well to a man’s liking (and mine), so that he will for SURE love it! I have prepared table decorations for each season and holiday so that we can enjoy a meal with a beautiful tablescape.
When I bought my car, I wanted to go with another color, but went with blue instead, feeling like my future husband would rather drive a blue car than a girly color.
I have prepared my life, my home, myself in all areas to be ready for marriage, as is fitting.
Yet, if I look at all seven of the guys, NONE of THEM are prepared.
If I apply the Bible times story to my own life, none of them are doing what they should be doing.
Kyle –
God granted him permission to be with me. He had (past tense…had) God’s permission, a huge first step. Yet while we were engaged, he cheated on me, was dating someone else and trying many times to have sex with her (though God stopped him each time). Ryan, his twin brother, told me he cheated on me and I was devastated when I found out.
When Kyle saw and understood that God wasn’t going to allow him to have sex with his girlfriend (while he was engaged with me), he broke up with her, PROVING his true intentions and motives.
In fact, he once told me that he would come and make it all public if I would agree to have sex with him, outside of marriage! Of course, being a godly woman and of sound mind, I said, “NO!!!!”
I could have ended this whole trial a few years ago, if I were willing to sin with him. Since I’m not, I suffer daily because of it with no seemingly end in sight. But I do not regret my decision one bit and it’s a decision I continue to choose every single day. Purity is important to God, therefore, it is important to me.
Kyle is clearly not all about his Father’s business if he is requiring a girl sin to be with them. And while the other girl was willing, I…am NOT!!!
Since Kyle has done all this to me (and much more), how on earth could I ever be with him? If he was the man building a house for me, while I was waiting for him, he was trying to be with other girls, dating two of them, trying to have sex with one of them multiple times, all while building SUPER slow (9 years). What woman would wait for a man that long. He clearly does not care.
Now, he’s pulling the same card my ex-husband used to pull, “I’m a changed man,” and trying to be with me. No…you’re not a changed man. Have you told the truth yet? No? Then, you’ve not changed.
Why would he think I’d want to be with him now? After his sins are so clear and he’s a snake, though covers it with a “good boy” act. No…he’s not for me!
Then, you have Ryan, the bad boy of the group, who supposedly turned good.
Ryan –
I met Ryan the same day I met Kyle, all those years ago. They were both chasing me. When I met Ryan again, it was a few years ago. He was married and I didn’t like him in that way. He got on Kyle’s computer and saw Kyle on my stuff.
Over time, Ryan realized (and said) that, “I was the best girl he’d ever met and he’s met many.” He liked me and pursued things with me, while married. He’d find ways to be away from his wife, listening through airpods, so as not to get caught by her as to what he was doing- watching and spending all his time with me.
We were friends and I led him to the Lord, but I did not encourage him to sneak around his wife.
He gave his life to God but has never come out and admitted it publicly. He doesn’t go to church, doesn’t seek God unless there’s a major problem, and doesn’t try to clean up his life to become a better Christian. He goes on sinning. All he does is watch ME all day long, enamored. He is perfectly content wasting his whole life, just watching me, doing nothing for others or the Lord…or better yet, for himself to BECOME the man God can use.
Put into the building scenario, he does not build the house at all. He just watches the girl and tries to get her to be with him, never preparing his OWN heart to be the man she needs. He is obsessed with watching her, watches HER day and night and never builds the house.
Although he is divorced now (his wife cheated on him and had a baby with someone else while they were married), he still can’t have me because he never built the house. Never cleaned, never wanted to be a man of God.
If I am to marry someone, that person has to be of impeccable character, in order to qualify not only for me, but also for YOU. My future husband will help lead this site, the nations, and we BOTH must be worthy of you. None of these men are.
After Ryan, came Ben.
Ben –
Ryan and Ben WERE best friends growing up. Ryan confided in Ben about me, gushing that he was in love with me to his best friend, Ben. Little did he know, Ben already liked me and was listening to make a plot to try for me himself…again.
Ben had tried for me when we went to church together, but I wanted nothing to do with him. He was evil. Sinister, and it was something that Kyle and I had talked about, way back when. Since then, Ben gave his life to God, but still holding onto some of his evil ways (sexual sins being the main one).
I never liked him.
It came about one day that I had information on Ryan of an illegal crime Ryan had committed. In order to throw Ryan under the bus, Ben called the cops on Ryan to come to me and question ME about it. Ryan quickly made a deal with Ben to get Ben to stop.
Ryan made a covenant with Ben that Ben could have me and that he would no longer try to be with me. Ben fell for Ryan’s game and called the cops off. Ryan never kept his covenant with Ben, though he did back off for a time.
If Ben were building the house, in the scenario, he would have never built it. He is too fascinated with watching me, like Ryan. However, after I told Ben there was no hope for us to EVER be together, Ben finally left. He is no longer on my stuff. He has done what is right (now) by getting off my stuff.
He is the most evil of all of them and the one I stay away from the most.
After Ben, God brought Jake into all this, to bring the truth to light. He, like the others, failed miserably.
Jake –
Jake is full of deceit. He is married but does not want to be married to her anymore. He is very prideful and wanted to be with a very attractive woman. It’s what drew him to his wife in the first place, but according to Jake, she is very superficial and she is not a believer. He is Christian and so this poses a problem.
He thought she was saved at first, but she is not. Over time, the thing that attracted him to her, has now become a huge thorn in his side. He hates that she’s superficial and never spends REAL time with him. She’s always go-go-go and off with her friends and partying type of lifestyle.
He hates that. He wants to divorce her and that’s the point at which him and I started talking (he got on my stuff). He was ready to leave her, 100% convinced, but I told him that would be sin!
There are only two reasons for divorce for the believer. If the other person leaves and abandons you and/or if they have a physical affair. She has NOT committed these sins. She is innocent in this way and so he is unable to divorce her by God’s standard.
I’ve talked to him THOROUGHLY about all this and he understands. But in his sin, and wanting to get out of the marriage (which again is his sin, not hers), he has been trying to get HER to have an affair!! He’s withholding sex from her, only being intimate enough to satisfy his own needs, so that she will cheat on him. He prays that she will cheat on him, in order that he can divorce her.
This is making a mockery of God’s laws and a gross sin on his part!
To the world, he says that they have problems and are trying to work them out. He doesn’t want his true motives revealed because he wants to play the “good guy” to the world.
His is in sin! He knows it’s not going to work, doesn’t want their marriage to work, but wants it to be HER fault so HE is free. It’s a messed up thing for a CHRISTIAN to do to a non-believer!
Why would I want to be with him?! He knows if he divorces her, he can’t have me because I know the truth and it’s wrong, so he stays because of sex and to play the “good guy” part, buying time, waiting for HER to leave him or have an affair, so he can leave her.
I would never be with a guy so manipulative and deceitful, nor would I ever be with a married guy.
He can’t work on building the house, in the scenario, because he is MARRIED…and rightfully so!!
Nicole, if you’re watching this, he’s a jerk! He’s playing you and the world and it’s NOT okay! This is NOT behavior befitting of a believer.
Once Jake got on my stuff, he quickly told Hunter, as they are close friends. Then Hunter got on my stuff also.
Hunter –
Hunter quickly liked me as he saw I am a godly girl and has been unable to find another. He is the youngest of all the guys, at only 21 years old. Hunter is, in all standards, a great guy. He is sexually pure (rare amongst men) and works incredibly hard to be a man of God.
His biggest problem is that he wants to own a girl. He wants to be the boss (in a bad way) and put the girl in a jar he can control. He wants my ministry for himself. All MY hard work, he wants to steal it and as good of a guy as he is (the best out of the seven), God did not call HIM to lead this ministry.
GOD…CALLED…ME!!!
For Hunter to try to steal what I’ve worked so hard for, for over 10 years (on this website alone and a total of 26 years in everything I teach online), is wrong and against God’s will. He has been told this and will not submit to God’s plan, so God exiled him.
It came about one day when Ryan, fed up with all the guys on my stuff got God’s permission and took them all off my stuff, one by one. Hunter was the first to go. On January 11, 2024, Ryan successfully got Hunter off and Hunter has not been back on.
Next, Ryan got Noah off all my stuff, on January 24, 2024, but he was able to get back on. He got back on, on Valentine’s Day, but Ryan quickly got him back off again and he is not on my stuff again since then.
Ryan got Jake off all my stuff on January 25, 2024 and he’s not been back on. On January 27, 2024, Ryan got Ben off all my stuff and he’s not been back on either.
So as it stands right now at least, everyone is off my stuff except for Kyle and Ryan.
No one can get Ryan off. He’s comparable to Joab in the Bible. You don’t mess with Joab unless you want a belly full of blood. And Kyle just keeps getting back on. He’s like a bad penny you can’t get rid of.
If Hunter were building a house in the scenario, he would have come up against one splinter in his finger and walked away completely, showing that I’m just not important to him enough and that’s okay with me! He’s far too young for me, and I’m not looking to be caged by yet ANOTHER guy!
Freedom is important and I’m no man’s slave. I answer alone to the Lord.
Next came Noah, and aside from Ben, Noah is the one I hate the MOST. You’d think I’d hate Kyle the most, after everything he’s done to me, but it’s actually Noah who I disdain so much.
Noah –
Noah Elliott is THE most prideful person I’ve ever met in my ENTIRE life!
He was so happy to find out I had money when we starting talking. I thought it was weird, so I asked him why. He said, “The girl I be with has to have money because poor people just don’t get it. They don’t understand the problems of the rich.”
Still to this day, that statement offends me. I’ve been on both sides of the coin, having had great wealth and being homeless and there ARE unique challenges and problems to each class, but to be so arrogant as to not consider someone unless they have money. Wow! I have no words for that. Just speechless.
This is obviously NOT what God would want our heart attitude to be like, EVER!!! He reminds me very much of the Pharisees in the Bible, snubbing their noses up at everyone, including JESUS Himself!!
Noah’s biggest problem is pride. It’s toxic and permeates everything in his life. How can he serve with me in these ministries, if he snubs his nose up at the very ones we are called to SERVE?!
Would YOU want him to be my husband?
No way, right?!
If Noah was building a house in the scenario, he’d be “too good” to build on his parent’s house. He’d go off and figure out a way to build a mansion. He’d NEVER come get me because he’d never be done building. Never satisfied. Always needing more.
There’s movies about that. People born with silver spoons in their mouths and losing everything to humble them. There’s nothing wrong with being born with a silver spoon in your mouth, your family worked hard, no problem, but it’s his attitude about it that is detestable.
He’s been told of his pride and refuses to bring it into alignment of God’s authority.
The best thing for him would be to lose all his money and walk a few months as someone who has nothing. Then maybe he won’t be so quick to dismiss and throw away someone simply for not having as much as he does.
He, like Hunter and Kyle, seek to steal my ministry and this is not God’s will.
Anonymous –
The seventh guy is someone I’ll leave anonymous because he is not part of the church and so it doesn’t matter. He was never on my stuff, so he did right in that part but he is not willing to submit to God.
He’s very worldly and wants his own way, not God’s.
None of these guys qualify to be my husband and none of them qualify to help work in this ministry.
Let them all be exiled away from me!
