After having been strung along, attacked, and abused by Kyle for 10 years, and then severely hurt by Ryan who promised to save me for 4 years, but never did, I didn’t really expect to find anyone again. I mean, God had said He would bring me someone, a marriage partner, as a gift to me for my suffering for so long while remaining above reproach in this whole Kyle situation, but I have to be honest, there was a part of me that didn’t believe. A part of me that was doubtful.
After Ryan, God brought Ben, Jake, and Noah and one by one, they all failed to do what they were called to do: tell the world the truth. Tell the world they see everything because they are there and clear my good and godly name.
But admitting such things, the truth, comes with risks. What if I turn on the person telling the truth and send him to jail? They know they are at fault and want to keep their good standing reputation to the public. They don’t want to get in trouble with family and friends when they find out what they’ve been doing this whole time. How involved do you really get? Can you really trust God to keep you safe?
I understand their dilemma. I understand why they didn’t want to tell, but God is God and if He asks us to do something, no matter what it is, we have to do it. We have to do what is right. None of the men did. They all failed to obey God, period.
So when God brought Hunter into my life, I assumed he was just like the rest and I was scared because I haven’t dated anyone since Kyle. I expected Hunter to be the same as the others, he wouldn’t tell the truth either and would treat me badly like Kyle did, so I ran from him when God told me he was the man for me, the man He wanted me to marry. I ran because I wanted, I expected a strong warrior and here was yet another man not obeying.
The truth wasn’t told right away and so I just continued to serve for the Lord, leaving it all in God’s very capable hands. I opened up a gifting ministry here locally, helping those in need and ladies wanting to be the Proverbs 31 woman helping to provide for their families and relieve some financial burden off their husbands. It’s been an amazing ministry, one that God has truly blessed my efforts in.
And then it happened!!
I had been asking God about Hunter a few times, throughout all of this, wanting to know how he was doing but God never answered. This time was different- God actually answered!
I was stunned when God revealed Hunter was ready. He was obeying, on track, and doing everything he could to make things right and to do what he was called to do.
The problem with him is that he had been consistently trying to control me, in a sinful way. He wanted me to bow to him and while I believe in biblical submission, it goes BOTH ways and that’s something rarely ever talked about.
Most Pastors always tell you how the woman should submit to her husband and the great Pastors tell you how the husband should love his wife, but it’s left there. No further information is given.
The problem with that is that the idea of biblical submission is only half taught from pulpits and men are left feeling pompous and arrogant, better than women, and women are left feeling like they have to become a doormat or sin against our Creator.
Both ideas are wrong!
Yes, the wife should submit to her husband if he’s not asking her to sin, out of a willing heart, knowing that God first made man, in His own image and then woman to help and please our husband. But God ALSO requires the husband to love his wife. It’s in that word LOVE, that the husband ALSO submits to his wife!!!
See, in a marriage, submission is not a one-way street. BOTH husband and wife should submit to each other.
Do any study you want on God’s love and you easily come across the verse calling Christians to love one another. John 13:34-35 is one of the places you’ll see that. Matthew 22:39 is another. It talks about loving our neighbors as ourselves. Surely a man’s wife is more important to him, as it should be, than his neighbor. So therefore, he should love her more than himself.
And if a man is loving himself, he will love his wife. Doing a study on 1 Corinthians 8:13 will also help understand the love we should have toward others, submitting to our brothers and not taking liberties that we could take because it may offend them or make them stumble. A part of love is submission. It’s about doing what’s best for the other person.
This means tenderly caring for your wife, genuinely listening to her, providing for her, taking care of her. If a man feeds his own body, he should feed his wife’s also. If he loves his own body and takes care of it (brushing his teeth, dressing it, etc.), he should also care about his wife in that way, making sure she has nice, presentable clothes to wear, just as he would himself.
He doesn’t fight with himself, get angry at himself, treat himself badly and neither should he be to his wife.
Men are called to love, honor, and to submit to their wives also. In perfect harmony, the couple bends toward each other, caring for one another, seeking the best for the other.
Submission goes both ways.
Ultimately the husband has the final say of course, but only below God. God is the #1 person in the relationship and both people must not only submit to each other, out of love and concern for one another, but also submit to God and His perfect will.
Hunter, like most men, due to a lack of training in our churches today and a lack of spiritual inspiration through the written word of God (men not taking the time to study the written word of God), Hunter did not know that, as is common.
During this time apart, Hunter learned to stop trying to control me and to let me be. When he came back, in a right relationship with God and me, I worked with him to show him all this and he immediately began submitting to me and to God, out of love for us both. We’ve been working on, together, creating a foundation of mutual love, respect, and submission and I have to say, it’s beautiful!!!
THIS is what God intended a marriage to look like! We both care about each other, are concerned with each other’s hurts, pain, and rejoice with each other in the good times. We are truly HAPPY, something I’ve not experienced for, well 10 years (since I met Kyle and he refused to do what’s right).
Hunter and I are now engaged to be married, and while it’s not your standard relationship (he lives in another state currently and is trying to move back here; we’ll have pictures of us when he does!), we’ve come a long way. He’s picked out my engagement ring (it’s beautiful, just like his soul) ❤️ and we’re starting down the path of being together and creating a life together, for God’s glory.
He is super big on serving others, a trait he was taught by his dad. So we plan to serve our guts out, as we have been individually, but now can do so together.
This Christian website (my ministry as a woman to the Lord), my Christian printables shop and my gifting group- we plan to do it all together and build it all up even more!!! I’m so excited.
Here’s what I want to say…
People mess up. We all fail to do what the Lord asks us to do sometimes, initially, but that doesn’t mean we stay there.
We don’t continue to sin, continue to rebel and dig in our heels. We submit to the Lord, we pray our guts out that God help us obey Him when it is difficult for us to do so and that’s what I’ve consistently seen Hunter do every single day – constantly asking God to help him obey out of a true desire to please the Lord in all ways.
This letter is unlike any other letter because it comes from BOTH of us. We’ve agreed to write it, agreed to let the Lord lead and obey God fully, TOGETHER.
To see Hunter go a full 180°, from initially rebelling to wanting to write this letter is amazing and beautiful and a true work of the Lord.
He’s ready. He’s obeying. He wants to get started serving you with me. We’re ready to start our lives together and it just goes to show you, what God can do with a teachable spirit and a humble heart.
While he started off rocky, the Lord has brought him through to full obedience (Philippians 1:6). The Lord has done a great work in his life. Hunter chose to submit. He is not like the other boys who CONTINUE to not submit to God. Truly, they will be punished for their sin. But this is not that story. This story is about submitting to God’s sovereign work to change the heart and mind of His servant.
All credit goes to God, but it is to Hunter’s credit for submitting to God and obeying Him, because while God’s sovereign work is sure, there is also human will, side by side, working in perfect harmony.
I’m so proud of Hunter, and I’m truly excited to become his wife: a match made in Heaven. I can’t wait for you to meet him, an amazing person and the most godly man I’ve ever met!!!
Update: August 10, 2024 – Hunter and I are no longer together. He has told his parents about us, but refuses to tell the world or the church. I can’t be with a man who refuses to obey the Lord and I have called off the engagement. He is to be treated like the other men in the situation, exiled and punished for their great sin against me, and more importantly, against the Lord.
Update: September 23, 2024 – Hunter is moving from Oregon, where he is living, to Idaho, where I am living, in order to be with me.
While this is great that he is obeying God in this area, he still has not gone forward and told the truth to the church or the world.
As Christians, we cannot obey God halfway, doing what we want to do and not obeying the parts we don’t want to do. We are God’s servants, His slaves, and must obey 100%.
While this is truly an amazing effort on his part, it is not FULL obedience, which is what the Lord requires, as do I. Hunter and I remain not engaged, not together in any way (dating, etc.), though he remains on my stuff.
During the time that Hunter talked to his dad, Rader, about all that is happening between me and him (on 7/31/24), his dad asked Hunter how he was able to get on all my stuff and Hunter was honest and told him.
His dad began praying about all of this and the next day (8/1/24), God revealed to him that I am in fact innocent in this matter, like Hunter says. God revealed this exact story to Rader (from the mouth of God):
There is no umpire between me and Kyle. Kyle’s fair warning went unheeded and he burned his bridge with God at the time. So God made up His mind, saying He has power, that He Himself will war against Kyle and the church, HBC (the church: for not taking care of this when it was brought to their attention and for causing me to suffer). Sarah is beautiful land, very godly and she and Hunter became engaged. However, we are not saved. Financially, I am struggling greatly because of all this, yet I am innocent. I have fainted and become weak because of this 10 year trial with Kyle, so I withdrew online, as I am attacked, abused, and misaligned in my innocence. I am lovely to God, but my lamp WILL go out unless someone saves me because my pain is very great because of my enemies. Even still, with all that going on, I continually work every single day, serving for the Lord with my whole heart and every ounce of energy I do have, to provide the Word of the Lord to the world. Even though, doing that very thing, brings great financial suffering and shame because I am attacked online.
On August 16, 2024, Rader, having the knowledge of how to get on my stuff by Hunter and being called by God to save me from my great distress, got on all my stuff, as the others have.
He and I have talked extensively, as friends, since then and he is taking great, massive steps in order to save me, as Hunter has also.
As you know, Hunter has moved here to be with me. Rader has sacrificed and paid a very large sum of money to my creditor to keep me from financial disaster and losing everything. I am more than, extremely grateful for his kindness and His obedience to the Lord.
However, he like every guy here, he has failed to tell the church or the world about any of this.
It is still pretty new; he’s only been on my stuff around a month now (yet, still enough time to tell the truth) and I await to see what happens.
He has been an elder in the past and now serves as a deacon at HBC and more is on the line for him than anyone else, because of his position within the church as a godly man. And from my own eyes and in my own estimation, I have seen Rader to be an impeccably godly man, so I am very hopeful that he tell the truth to the church and to the world.
Please join me in prayer that Rader purify himself (for not going forward sooner), go forward and clear my good name quickly, as the Lord has commanded Him to do so in order to glorify God and to save me.
Update: October 11, 2024 – Rader Eberhardt, Hunter’s father, has sinned greatly against me and against the Lord. He has refused to obey the Lord in several ways. He is to be treated as an unsaved man and left completely alone. God has given him over (abandoned him) to his own, unchanging sin, and so have I at this point.
Rader is a fake and not at all the godly man he PRETENDS to be to everyone.
Megan, Rader’s wife, left him because he (while married to her), was/is pursuing to be with me. He told Hunter he would go after me and be with me, WHILE I was engaged to Hunter. This, of course, greatly upset Hunter because we were engaged and Hunter told his mom (Megan) what was going on with his dad.
Megan then confronted Rader to tell him to stop pursuing me romantically (while they were married). He told her he would not and refused to stop pursuing me. Megan moved out and left Rader because of that. Since then, Rader has given up his position at Heritage Bible Church, stopped going to church, and quit his job, all in the effort to be with me romantically.
It is sin to romantically pursue another woman, whom you are not married to!! It is sin to try to steal your son’s fiance!!!!!
Although Rader and I have been friends and I had high hopes for him, he is NOT a godly man at all and I will have nothing to do with him due to his massive sin in these (and another) major areas.
Heritage Bible Church – be aware of why Rader REALLY quit his position. It was only half true when he told you it was because of his divorce. He didn’t say WHY he is getting the divorce. Megan left him because he is trying to pursue ME, all while me and Hunter were engaged! Rader is in great sin and has hurt many people along the way, including his son Hunter, his wife Megan, and me, by his actions.
I have asked Rader to get off all my stuff and he refuses to leave. At this time, he is committing an illegal act, punishable by law.