Before I was born, my dad left my mom. My mom was going to give me up for adoption. She had a family picked out for me to go to. But after I was born, she couldn’t give me up. She decided to keep me. Growing up, my mom loved me the best she could, apart from Christ.
She was a single mom who worked many hours to provide for us. It was just me and her. She was always so tired from working, that she didn’t have a lot of time for me. Which is one of the main reasons, the #1 overall focus of my site is to get mom’s home from working a traditional job if they want to, and be HOME with their kids! I’ve been making money online for 18 years. I feel like if I can do it, anyone can! It is my passion to teach you.
Why You Should Passively Wait for God’s Love
As you can imagine, growing up, I was starved for love and attention. I was very much the flirt with the boys. But in all those years, I never found a boy that I really respected. Yes, there were boys that I liked, a couple of them, very much, but none I respected.
I was not saved when I got married at 19 and I married an unsaved man. I had no CLUE what love was, what it should look like, what it was supposed to BE like. My only reference point was fairy tale movies.
Within the first year of our marriage, I realized that my marriage was NO fairy tale.
I was DEVASTATED. I thought I knew this man, but I had NO CLUE who he was. He ended up having several affairs before our divorce was finalized some 14 years of marriage later.
Marriage for me was a nightmare. I was unsaved, he was unsaved and neither of us had any clue what true love really was.
After my ex-husband left, I gave my life to Christ and swore to myself that I’d never get married again. I swore off men, in general, saying that I wanted to be single the rest of my life. I was fervent in that. I told everybody when they asked why I wasn’t dating yet, that I did not plan to be with a man ever again. I like being single. I like my independence.
A few years into being single, I decided that I wanted to have a friend who was male, in order that I may glean a guys’ perspective on things. Still very closed to the idea of a marriage partner, I met someone who we connected right away, to the depths of our souls. We would look at each other for long periods of time across the room, and although our expressions weren’t saying anything, it was as if our hearts were.
Over time, this closed-to-the-idea-of-being-in-love girl, fell in love.
I had all these rules set up to avoid falling in love. I wouldn’t even date someone, until I was friends with him for at least a year prior. I would only date someone in which I knew had a very strong potential of marriage. I wouldn’t even be FRIENDS with a man, unless I thought he were the type of man that I could potentially date one day. He must be godly. He must have empathy. He must be sensitive. He had to not be a hairy man (don’t like beards, etc.) He must be handsome (because in a previous relationship, there was no physical attraction at all and it ended up not working- I wanted this to be different. Physical attraction is not everything, but it does have to be part of the equation for a healthy relationship). He must be someone I know is saved by his obedience to God over time. He must not have kids (mine are seriously a hand full!) And on and on and on the list goes….a mile long I assure you!
It’s funny how life turns out. I didn’t date around, in fact, I have at this point, not dated anyone since my divorce.
My guy friend and I have been friends for almost 2 years now. We love each other very deeply, and one day, sooner than later I hope, we will be together. Right now, there are certain issues that prevent us from being together (his issues, not mine).
As I look back on my life since my divorce, I realize that if I would have dated other people, I would have missed out on the beautiful gift that is my friend. He is a jealous man in that way; wants me all to himself, and if I were to be pressured to answer, I guess I’d say the same.
He is a pure man in every way. His heart is for the Lord, and there is no other man on the planet that I respect MORE than HIM. He is not perfect. He is not without fault. My eyes are not covered. I see him as he is, BECAUSE we’ve been friends for so long. But his heart is for the Lord. He is passionate about serving God and serving others.
In the time that I have gotten to know him, he has healed me from past hurts of my ex-husband. He has restored a confidence in me as a woman, that while I was abandoned and while I have NEVER been loved by a man, truly loved, I am not loveless. HE loves me. GOD loves me. I’m not broken. There’s nothing wrong with me because my ex-husband left. The problem is not me!
He taught me how to love.
It’s not a fairy tale. It’s the real deal. He loves me unconditionally, with all his heart. I love him in the same way. Our love for each other is pure. It’s not physical, although he is THE most attractive man I’ve ever seen, his heart is what I love most.
I can’t WAIT for the day when the WORLD sees how truly incredible he really is. Because he hides it. He’s timid to show it. He’s afraid, and I understand. It’s scary showing people who you really are. And nearly every day, I encourage him to show the world, because he is a truly remarkable human being.
And you know what, I would not be GOOD ENOUGH for HIM, I would not have met HIS checklist, if I had dated around prior to meeting him!
What I’m saying, very clearly, is that if you want a man who is of HIGH regard, if you want an honorable man, if you want to be with someone who is of good rapport, an extremely godly man, and they are out there (if you’re single, you may be doubting this, but they are) you have got to be a woman of the same caliber. Because men like that have high standards, and you, dear loved one, need to value yourself enough to have high standards in your own life, and WAIT.
I believe there is one man out there for you if you are single. I do not believe what everyone says, “Just pick someone.” No! Wait! God will show you who He intends for you. There is ONE man for me. I’ve met him. And if we end up NOT being together for some reason, I purpose to be single the rest of my life. Because after having met such a great man as he, I can NEVER settle!!!!
My friend, you are worth SO MUCH MORE than settling for something that’s meh…wait for TRUE love.
For love that will KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF. The love that’s in the movies. It’s real! It’s out there! And I have it! I am incredibly blessed even just to be his FRIEND. I’ve never met someone who has more in common with me than him. He reads EVERY single word on this blog. 🙂 He clicks every single link. It’s incredible his desire to know me at my core.
That kind of love, when you’re in the same crowded room and all you see is him. The room goes dark. His face is all you see. The love where you stay up all night long, getting no sleep, just talking to him about randomness. The love that FIGHTS to be together, and WAITS to be together. The love that can’t stay away from each other even if you tried. The love that does not end. The love that would die for the other person.
THAT LOVE is WORTH waiting for and YOU are worth having that kind of love.
I never knew true love until I met him. And suddenly, I see God in a way I never have before because he reminds me of Jesus. I see Jesus in him.
If you are reading this and you are single, you are worth waiting for and the man that gets you, is worth waiting for too. Do not settle. When you start to feel all alone, put a drop of Marjoram essential oil on the bottom of your feet. This will help your emotions not feel alone and between that oil and God, is how I’ve gotten through being alone for so long. If I have to wait another 20 years to be with this man, I will. He is worth waiting for. His love is worth waiting for. He offers me so much more than any other man ever could: TRUE LOVE.
YOU are worth waiting for.
God’s true love, His incredible love that is so rare in today’s culture, is worth waiting for. The type of love that movies are made from. Don’t you want that? Aren’t you willing to wait to have that (if it should be God’s will for you), rather than to settle? I encourage you to wait. Don’t date around. You say, how do I get to know a person without dating? Be friends first for a long period of time. The man that gets your heart, should be willing to wait for your heart too.
What I am NOT saying: Love is only emotional.
While love IS an emotional thing, it is not SOLELY emotions. Love is caring for someone when you don’t feel like it, focusing on their needs when you’re in physical pain, sacrificing for them day in and day out. It is service and kindness, choosing them even when they are being mean, staying when you want to leave. A godly marriage will be all of that and more, a balance. It’s a choice to love a fallen person as they chose to love you.
The world says the second you do not have the ‘feeling’ of love, it’s time to look out for yourself, you deserve more. That is NOT what I’m saying! What I am saying is that the feeling of love should be there, a part of the package. God made us to be emotional people. Society says don’t show emotions. Society is wrong.