Have you ever seen someone else’s life and just feel like you wished you could have even just a small PIECE of what THEY have?
Maybe they are a rock star blogger.
Perhaps they have the best marriage you’ve ever seen.
Maybe they are a fantastic mom and you feel like you’re barely getting through the day.
Maybe you see someone who’s super organized and your life is a mess, in the weeds constantly and you long to really just get to where they are.
If you’ve ever felt like that (and let’s be honest now…we ALL have at one point or another), here are some ways that will really help you kick that jealousy to the curb! Here’s how to stop the comparison trap for GOOD!
How to Stop the Comparison Trap For Good
Today, I visited another site and was blown away by how much content and traffic they are getting. Over 6 MILLION clicks a month. WHHHHAAATTTTT….just amazing.
I looked at how much content they had and I felt jealous. I wish *I* had that much cool content on MY site. If ONLY I DID, I could get a ton of traffic too!
How can they just accomplish all that? I’m running so hard as fast as I can trying to get all this content out for God and they have like a bazillion articles. How in the world are they doing it?!
So I took a few minutes and did some digging. They’ve been writing that site since 2001! We are talking over 20 years here of hard work!!
Instantly I felt better.
It helped me because instead of feeling like I was not up to par, I felt so happy and proud for them. 👏
YAH!
Way to go!
You deserve an amazing site!!
Watch ME in 20 years too! 💖😁
Comparison is the thief of joy and we have to stop it instantly!!!
For me, that’s always my go-to jealousy kicker. I research them. How long has it taken them to get where they are?
It takes consistent steadfast determination
Listen, they didn’t get to where they are overnight. I didn’t get to where I am overnight either. It happens over time. I have a lot of people saying to me how they want to have a super successful shop. Okay, that’s great, yes! You can. But it won’t BE overnight.
I’ve been doing ecommerce for over 24 years! It took me FOR-EVER and a day to get there. So that when I opened up my shop, everything just CLICKED pretty instantly. Now, I have a course that will help you speed past a lot of those years, but if you’re not willing to give your shop at least 1 year, go home. Don’t start. Go away. Really. Because you’ll just waste your money on my courses. You cannot speed through 24 years of knowledge in 5 mins.
I had one girl sign up for my course and within 2 months, she stopped her shop, closed it all down and walked away. I bent over backwards for her. To help her, to promote her, the whole 9. And what happened, it wasn’t “good enough”, and she quit. To this day, I’m STILL floored. Like I can’t even believe it.
Listen, if you wanna make a small amount of money and work hard for it, you can GO the Etsy route, okay. Go make a bunch of products, play on Etsy, make a little money, but I promise you, at some point down the line, when you’re feeling all comfortable, when your income SEEMS stable, you WILL lose it all!
How can I possibly be THAT sure to promise you? I mean, that’s a pretty wild claim, right?
Experience speaks
BECAUSE I’ve been in this game for over 24 years, that’s why! THAT’S WHY.
I’ve seen it happen on Amazon, Amazon FBA, Facebook Marketplace, Etsy, ebay, Pinterest, Facebook groups, you name the platform, I’ve seen my friends go from having everything to having nothing in a matter of a day.
The one FOR SURE thing is that it WILL end.
Someone will leave a bad comment on your Facebook Marketplace reviews and you’re done. No one will buy from you. Same with ebay, but it’ll be a competitor.
Amazon same thing. One review or a team of reviewers of enemies come along, hate you for no reason and bam, you’re done.
Etsy will change their rules, their algorithms.
Pinterest will move to more of a shopping place and be Instagram like instead of blog-friendly.
SEO changes.
THE WORLD CHANGES.
Constantly, all the time. And building on someone ELSE’S platform, may get you short term results, but in the end, you’ll come back to me saying, “You were right, Sarah”. I guarantee it. Just give it time.
And what happens when it does?
The newer, larger home you got? Poof.
The car you have? Poof.
That vacation you took? Poof.
Your savings account? Poof poof.
Done.
Consistent, steadfast work builds your skills – and your store
We must build our platforms, our work, on solid ground, on rock, not on sand (Matthew 7:24-27 in context).
When you work consistently, for a very long period of time, you can HAVE what the others are having. But it takes hard work, day in, day out, showing up.
If you’re just starting out and you see someone who’s ahead of you: GOOD!
Let it motivate you to one day get there too, but be realistic. Look how many years they’ve been doing it. Look at their growth. It started out here, the next year, they were here. Use THOSE as your goals. Not the full amount within year 1. That’s just ridiculous.
The problem with most people is that they’re not willing to put in the work.
Then, the ones that are, are not willing to stick with something long term to see it through.
So you have FEW that truly make it and that’s why.
I mean think about it…you’re in it for the long haul with raising your kids. Till they are 18…19…25…😂
If you’re in THAT for the long term, why not your passions, too? Why not your business?
No…far too many people quit. They want instant results. Okay, go get them. But they won’t last.
Stop the comparison trap by being in it for the long haul. Making adjustments, tweaking things as you go, but sticking with it. Stop the comparison trap by understanding that it takes a while to get somewhere. You can’t have great success overnight. It takes time. Even the ones that hit on something right away, there’s always time spent before it in some way.
Skills that align just right.
Experience in a similar topic that spills over to this new one.
There’s always something.
You need that time in the game. You need that experience. Use the people that you’re jealous of to spur you on and keep you going. If THEY can keep going, so can I, sort of thing. 😊
Learn from the people you’re comparing myself to. The jealousy quickly fizzles away when you consider these people as teachers!
Learn what they are doing. How they are doing it. Research them. Find out what’s going on. The underbelly of things. What are they teaching publicly? What are they doing privately? How did they get where they are? Year by year? Learn from them.
Then…be content.
Be content with a Father who will always take care of you
Listen, God has you EXACTLY where He wants YOU to be. HIS timing is perfect. You cannot speed it up, and you cannot slow it down. He is in perfect, sovereign control.
If HE wants you to be somewhere or do something, you will. If He doesn’t, you won’t. You can’t fight God.
If you want to be a blogger more than anything in the world, and He does not want you to be a blogger at all, you cannot be a blogger. All you can do is start and fail. He’s not going to let you?
Why? Is He an uncaring, mean Father?
No. Absolutely not. He knows all, sees all, and knows every instance that would occur if it should so happen in every single person’s life on the planet.
He can foresee down the road what would happen if you married that person or took that particular job.
For your own good, He prevents or stops certain things from happening.
I’ll give you an example.
I have a friend who was doing really well, doing what God wanted her to do and then started a project. At the first instance of a tiny bit of success, she let it go to her head. Suddenly, she thought she was THE best. And I watched it and cringed. Meanwhile, she was forsaking the work that God had called her to do and went off on her own, apart from God.
Isn’t it so true that popularity and praise test personal character more than anything else?
The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and a man is tested by his praise. Proverbs 27:21
I’d love to say she’s the ONLY ONE I’ve seen crash and burn because they start getting a little praise. A little money. A little fame, a little success. But she’s not. I’ve watched many women chase it, get it, have it, and sell out.
It’s a hard thing to watch. Having wealth. Having fame, fortune, a little bit of success. It’s a massive test. Not just a one-time test, but an always occurring test. A day by day testing of our character, of our faith, and of our allegiance.
WHO are we going to serve today?
Are we going to serve the person in the mirror?
Are we going to serve our bank accounts?
Are we going to serve the people with a foul-tasting serving them only so we can get ahead mindset?
Are we going to serve superficially so as not to rock the boat? Or are we going to be bold, no matter if we lose all our traffic, all our money, and everything in between?
Are we going to serve the living GOD?
Who do YOU serve today? Ask yourself. It’s something I ask myself almost every single day. Lord, what will you have me do today. This is YOUR day. Giving Him the day because it is His already! We are literally on His clock. Our time is not our own. It would be foolish to think it is. Do you decide when you die? No, me either. 😂 There you have it…His clock.
Last, we must be people of contentment. This has GOT to BEEEEEE, THE hardest struggle. I know I struggle with it myself sometimes. And just when I have it down and I’m content, bam, out of nowhere, I’m not content again.
I remember being in the shower one day, God had given me this $1.6 million dollar house, and I was furnishing it with thousands of dollars worth of furniture, just extreme here, okay, and I said to God one day in the shower, ‘Why aren’t you giving me more? Why do you make me beg you? Do you hate me?”
The saddest part of all, is that, at the time, I MEANT those words…and I’m not even a person who usually struggles with wanting more! But in that moment, I did.
How cruel.
How vicious.
How mean.
How arrogant.
How utterly in need of contentment.
My heart was just completely wrong, and it took me a while, ashamedly I say, but I did apologize and ask forgiveness for my sin of such ugly and horrible discontentment. And I tell you this story because enough is NEVER enough. You can have everything in the world that you want right now and it won’t be enough. It’s never enough and we must work on our hearts DAILY to STOP them from becoming (and being) discontented.
My dear friends, a lack of contentment is shoved in our faces DAILY.
It’s everywhere from online to advertisements and everything in between.
You think eating cereal in the morning for breakfast is safe? It’s not. There’s an ad on the back of the box telling you to BUY SOMETHING. NOW.
IF YOU ACT NOW.
That’s the world we live in. A horribly discontented one. Everyone pecking out the eyes of their neighbor to get one step ahead.
It’s an ugly, ugly thing. And, if not kept in check, can destroy a life.
Please, friends, don’t let comparison of others drag you down. Don’t let it steal your joy, rob you of your relationship with God. It’s a sneaky, sneaky thing. It creeps up in us unawares. And it destroys everything in sight.
Keep your heart pure. Keep your spirit right. Keep comparison of others and their things, far from your mind.