When your husband (or friend, or other special person in your life) forgets your birthday, it can be a really hurtful experience.
You might think he doesn’t care about you or your marriage. Even if he is busy, you may feel like he didn’t make any effort to remember such an important day for you.
Whether he did it intentionally or not, it really hurts when a husband forgets your birthday. I’ve personally been in this situation more than once, so I can completely relate. My ex-husband used to forget my birthday and special days like Mother’s Day. It’s a deep pain that never truly seems to go away.
Every holiday that rolls around, you wonder to yourself, is he going to hurt me this holiday too. So that every upcoming holiday, you feel paralyzed with fear, not knowing if that day is going to bring you horrendous pain or it’ll be okay.
I understand, completely, how you feel and today, I want to share with you what you can do if he forgot a special day in your life, like your birthday.
What Should I Do When My Husband Forgot My Birthday?
If your husband forgot your birthday, the first step is to communicate with him about how you’re feeling. It’s important to express your hurt and dissatisfaction in a calm and collected manner. Try not to get too emotional or he may feel defensive and less likely to listen to what you have to say. If you’re too emotional right now to talk to him, you’ll want to wait until you’ve stepped back and collected yourself in order to talk.
Once you’ve voiced your feelings, give him a chance to explain his side of the story. If he was busy with work or had a lot going on, he may genuinely have forgotten. If he remembers your birthday but didn’t do anything to celebrate it, he may not have realized how important it was to you.
If he was just being vindictive, in a way so as to TRY to hurt you, it’s really gonna be tough (this was my ex-husband’s reason).
But whatever the reason, try to see things from his perspective and be understanding. If he truly is sorry for forgetting and is willing to make it up to you, then accept his apology.
However, if he doesn’t seem remorseful or unwilling to change his behavior, then you may need to ponder your marriage a bit more thoughtfully. If your husband never remembered your birthday or special occasion, even before marriage, then you know this is just one of his common mannerisms. And it’s something you chose to accept when you accepted his marriage proposal. You weren’t put on this earth to change him and mold him to your liking. You were put on this earth to honor him and accept him for who he is, while hoping, praying, and encouraging the best for his spiritual growth.
If he began showing a lack of respect for you regarding special occasions that are important to you, then he is not valuing you or your marriage as he should. This could be a sign of deeper underlying issues in your relationship that need to be addressed. If he’s not willing to work on things with you, then you may need to consult with a professional about your next best steps.
He Forgot My Birthday…and Every Other Important Day!
This behavior can be a sign of other problems in the relationship. If he can’t even be bothered to remember your birthday, that could be something easily resolved. But if isn’t celebrating anything with you, he may not be invested in the relationship anymore.
If you’re facing this situation, it’s important to talk to him about your concerns and see if he’s willing to work on your marriage. If he’s not interested in anything you have to say, then you may need to consider something more drastic.
I wouldn’t do anything life-changing until I see a pattern or after I’ve discussed it with him multiple times. Because he may be going through a phase or a season in life where he’s down in the dumps or depressed.
People change throughout life. No one stays the same. Hopefully, you can both do change and grow together.
No matter what, remember that it’s important to communicate with your husband about your feelings. If he forgot your birthday, tell him how hurt you are and see where things go from there.
If He Forgot My Birthday, Should I Get Revenge?
It can be tempting to get revenge if your husband forgot your birthday, but this is NEVER the best solution. Getting revenge may make you feel better in the moment, but it won’t fix the underlying problem and if he’s a spiteful person, the revenge will just keep going back and forth constantly and create a HORRIBLE pattern you will not want to stay in.
If he forgot your birthday because he’s busy or distracted, getting revenge will only make things worse.
Revenge is never the best solution for anything in your life. Remember that as a Christian, our BIGGEST power is Christ. He avenges us (1 Peter 3:9) and so for us, as His children, the BEST thing we can do is to allow God to avenge us. GOD, and God alone, WILL make things fair. I promise you!!!!!!!!
Why Prayer Is Always The First Step and The Next Step
Pray before this happens. Pray before he forgets your birthday. Then pray before you talk to him. And when you get the answer, pray about that!
Center Christ throughout your marriage and pray together with your husband. To avoid pitfalls that seem too deep to climb back out of, pray together every day.
If he’s NOT Christian and maybe you came to salvation after you got married (this was my case), then pray FOR your unbelieving husband’s salvation. Truly, a man walking with the Lord is THE best gift in life you can ever hope to have and it starts with prayer!!!
Prayer is always the first and the next step.
If your husband has forgotten your birthday or another holiday, don’t be afraid to confront him about it. Let him know how his actions – or inactions – have hurt you and bring it all to God.