When I was a little girl, I was made fun of a lot. I remember coming home crying very often by the words that others were saying to me. One day, this man gave me advice. He said, “You have to be a coke machine.”
For the life of me, I had no idea what he was talking about.
He said, “People put their money into the coke machine, and they EXPECT, a soda can to come out. But what if, one day, the coke machine decides to stop giving soda’s?”
“You see,” he went on, “The kids at your school are putting money into you, except they’re not using their money…they are using their words, and they EXPECT a reaction from you.”
“All they want is the reaction. They’ll put in all the money, they’ll hurt with word after word. What they’re looking for, is the reaction. YOU control whether or not they get the soda or not.” He leaned in close and whispered…“Don’t give them one.”
He sat back and said, “You know…if that doesn’t work, and it’s a boy, you know he’s just teasing you because he likes you!”
In my little life, I had never heard something so profound. He used his words for good. Others used their words for harm.
I went back to school, and tried as I might, the first few times, I gave them soda’s. It was harder than I thought.
Eventually, someone threatened, “I wanna beat you up.”
I replied, “Stand in line…take a number…everyone else does too!” I said it jokingly. But it really took them aback. They weren’t expecting THOSE words. They weren’t expecting THAT reaction.
Little by little, person by person, mocker by mocker, teaser by teaser, I learned to stop giving them soda’s.
And it worked…they started leaving me alone, because they weren’t getting the reaction they wanted. Until there was just one boy left. I thought about what the man had said, and I thought to myself, “I wonder if he likes me.” The next time he teased me, I told him as much. He played it off like he didn’t. “Ew gross, YOU….ME like YOU…ewwww.” But the next time he came around and teased, I said it in front of his friends. After that, he wasn’t so quick to tease anymore. You know, I think he DID like me.
Abusers have all sorts of reasons to abuse. Mean people have all sorts of reasons to be mean. Perhaps you’ve said something you didn’t intend to hurt them, and they take it hurtfully, and retaliate against you, saying all kinds of untrue evil. Perhaps, you’ve done nothing at all, and your mockers are there, mocking you daily.
I remember living with an abusive guy. We were married 14 years. Toward the latter part of those 14 years, he started mocking my faith, mocking me, and reviling me on a daily basis.
He admitted one day he was doing it on purpose to try to get me to sin. In his eyes, I was a good person, a great Christian, I rarely messed up (again, in HIS eyes, not in actuality, because I tell you the truth…I’m a mess! I sin way more than I want to!) But he wanted me to fail. To mess up. I thought about my coke machine and I started trying as hard as I could, not to give him any soda.
Sometimes I messed up and gave him a soda. But in those years, I learned a valuable lesson.
God was molding me and teaching me.
When you’re reviled, when people say all sorts of untrue and evil things about you, do not revile back. Do not give them a soda.
It became this war between him and I. Him always trying to get a soda by any means necessary, me trying my absolute best to walk with the Lord, to not give him a soda, and crying my eyes out when he wasn’t around (not letting him see he was getting to me). If I were to let him see he was getting to me, it would have been giving him a soda. That’s what he wanted. So, I cried in secret. When he went to bed, I cried in the closet. When he went to work, I cried. I cried for 3 years straight.
And in those years, God shaped me. I’m stronger now BECAUSE of my ex-husband. I’m stronger now BECAUSE I’ve been mocked and persecuted my whole life. If not by one person, by another. And I’ve found it to be true, that boys often mock and persecute when they like you….at ANY age!
I am mocked, I am accused falsely, it has always been my life. But one thing is certain, I, and I alone control whether or not they get a soda.
It’s hard. Especially when you care about the persecutor. But sometimes you have to realize that it’s THEIR problem…not yours.
Are you mocked? Are you persecuted? Do people falsely accuse you? Do they say evil things about you?
Have hope…be a coke machine.
Don’t give them any soda.
Don’t react to them.
Realize, it’s their problem, not yours.
You just keep following and obeying the Lord as best as you can, and they will fall because they will trip THEMSELVES.