Now if THAT title doesn’t stop you in your tracks, I don’t know what will! I remember the day one of my friends said that statement to me.
She was talking about how her kids were not behaving and she looked at me and said, I want my kids to sin more.
I was in shock. Wait…WHAT??????
The whole point of the Christian life is to sin LESS, right?
Less lady, not more! I felt like I was in an alternate universe.
That is…until she explained. And today, I want to explain something to you that will really change the way you parent your kids, and the way you see their sin forever!
Why I Want My Kids to Sin More
When you hear or see a statement like that, your focus automatically goes to the word “more”. But I want you, instead, to focus on the word “kids”.
When your kids are little, they still have us around. We can still be an influence in their lives.
If your kids are teens, you have less influence in their lives. Mostly because teens begin to value their friends opinions more than their parents. It’s a totally natural thing.
But as CHILDREN, your kids still want to listen to you. If they are little enough, they want to be like you. They mimic you. They love you and so you have more of an influence in their lives than when they are teens or older.
Then you get into the whole adult thing. When your kids grow up and are adults, when they sin, there’s no one there (you) to guide them, protect them, and show them the way.
What my friend was saying was that she wanted her kids to sin more NOW, with her around, so that she could have the opportunity to teach them the right things in life. To teach them the ways of God. To teach them how to not sin or what to do instead.
She wanted to be the one to teach them and she took her job as a parent very seriously as I think we all should.
So in essence, it really IS better if your kids sin more NOW because they have YOU around to teach them right from wrong. When they’re older, they won’t listen. When they are adults, you won’t be around to keep them accountable and instill good values and Christ-like behavior in them.
Her idea is that the more sin they committed, the more different scenarios she was able to help them through.
It’s a simple idea really, but it sure was completely mind blowing when she said it. It changed everything for me.
For her, she prayed that her kids would sin more while she was around so that she could guide them through it. I’m not sure that I’d pray for that, but I do think the idea is a solid one.
Our relationships with our kids are SO vital. They are so important and it takes a lot of hard work over years and years and years to really get through to them.
My daughter in particular, went through some really tough stages. With my ex-husband gone, she was really mad for a really long time. It took really listening to her and getting to know her and building that relationship with her when she was younger, and now as she’s older (15). FINALLY, this year, she accepted Christ into her life.
We were sitting in the car and I was talking about how things were pretty difficult for me to take care of everything. As a single mom, things can get tough when you’re running the ENTIRE show by yourself. I don’t have family to help. It’s just me and she was realizing that by her bad behavior, she was actually making it HARDER on me to deal with all of life.
She broke down and started bawling. I knew right then and there, that was God that got to her heart. I could tell her tears were genuine and that she was truly broken over her sin and over making life tougher for me.
I’ll never forget that day.
Since then, she’s tried to make things easier for me. She helps more around the house. She’s much more responsible, she’s a great helper.
I think that we never know at what age our children will become saved. We don’t know if what we are doing as parents will break through that stone cold heart. Only God can penetrate a heart and that day, He did.
I see the fruit of the Spirit in her. When she prays, sometimes God is answering and it’s amazing to see it, in such a young person.
My son, on the other hand, wanted to be a Pastor since he was 3 (still does), but he’s just such a little monster right now to deal with (not sure if he is saved at this point; I would guess he’s not). It’s truly rough and so again, I’m investing in him, spending time with him, loving on him, giving him attention.
While I haven’t prayed that they sin more with me around, I do see their sins and I always pray for God to make me the mom that they NEED. I think that’s really all we can ever do. Try our absolute best to be the best mom we possibly can. We’re not perfect, we never will be and so often God reminds me that they are not perfect either.
They will do something that is not nice and He will convict me, “Don’t be too hard on them. Remember they are kids.”
Sometimes we tend to forget that, at least I do. Sometimes, I want them to act like adults, be as mature as adults and it’s just about remembering they ARE still kids and that’s okay!
At every age in their life, I will love them, always and forever, and the more time I spend with them, the more time I take and MAKE the time to talk with them about their sin, the more I see it make a difference.
As a busy mom, the tendency really is to brush things off, but we have to really take the time to teach them every day in every step. That’s what God put us here in their lives for. To teach them.
When they are sinning, if we take the time to teach them, really that’s the best. It’s much better for your child to steal a pickle out of the fridge that he shouldn’t steal, than steal a car when he’s 22 because no one ever took the time to teach him stealing is wrong.
Obviously, everyone has a conscience, we know that, and we all know stealing is wrong, even at 22. But the point is that it’s better to, as Barney Fife from Andy Griffith says, “Nip it. Nip it in the bud.”
If you’re working with your son on why stealing a pickle is wrong, then when he is older, prayerfully he won’t be stealing other things because you’ll be working with him on it.
I’m using that as an example because for me, this week, it’s true. My son has been stealing pickles out of the jar that are not his. And he admitted it today (accidentally) and I told him the verse about how if we are not faithful in the little things, God will not give us the big things.
He knows that verse and so it was heavily convicting to him. I told him that if God can’t even trust him with a pickle, how can he grow up and make money. God won’t trust him with bigger things if he can’t even be trusted with a pickle. He’s only hurting himself and not helping his future. Maybe that is overdramatizing it a bit, but he got the point.
If God can’t trust us in the little things, He won’t give us the big things. The same is true with money. So many people ask me how I’m able to have so much money and that’s the same verse I always tell them. I was faithful when I had $5 in my pocket in the homeless shelter. I was faithful when He gave me $100/month extra, then $300/month, then $500/month, then $1k/month. Now I make really great money and I’m faithful with what I have, but I always have been faithful with whatever He gave and yes, it started with 5 bucks.
Just taking the time to tell him that story and remind him. God wants to bless us, God loves us, but so often, we are not faithful in the little things and so He CAN’T!
Parenting is a super tough job. There are so many things to consider and so many things to do, but I hope that this has really helped you think about your children’s sin in a new and different way.
While we don’t praise the act of sin or condone it, it IS better that our little ones sin while we are present so that we can take the opportunity to do exactly as God has called us to do: teach them.
As they see we genuinely care about them as people, as individuals, they will learn to trust us, be honest with us and ALLOW us to mold and shape their minds and hearts.
I hope that you make this idea a matter of prayer in your heart (here are some really great 30 days of prayers for your children to help). <3 Ask God to guide you. Ask Him to help you have more patience with your children as they sin and to look at sins as opportunities to teach instead of just brushing things off like we are all so prone to do.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this. Lemme know in the comments below. I personally read each and every comment left! <3