You know, when my husband of 14 years first abandoned our family (the first time), my kids and I ended up in a homeless shelter. He would end up coming back, claiming to be saved, and I would take him back almost instantly. Over time, I learned how good he is at playing the part of a Christian. I learned in my own life how easy it is to think I was saved, when I really wasn’t, and then lived with a husband who claimed salvation and deceived many PURPOSELY.
But, as God would have it, I had TRULY given my life to the Lord now at that point and I thought that by my husband coming back, it was a gift from God, putting our family back together.
What I didn’t know at the time, was that my husband, was still not saved, just good at faking. He would go on to leave us yet again, and again, and again. Until I finally put a stop to it, not willing to believe the new salvation card anymore. And I wondered, why God would allow all of this to happen to ME.
I was the good one. I was the godly one. I was the one who is on fire for the Lord, truly trying to make my marriage and everything else in my life work. I’m an all or nothing person. I have two switches. On and off. lol. That’s it. There’s no middle ground with me. So, if I say I’m committed to my marriage, I was all in. 810% in.
But, as you know, I sit here writing this to you today as a single woman, divorced. There was no sin on my part at all in the divorce. Although he initially filed, I did sign to end it, standing before the Lord, having both counts of Biblical divorce grounds against him. Not what I would have chosen….if I had my way, I would have continued to sacrifice daily for the HOPE that one day he truly would give his life to the Lord, but after having known the full knowledge of Christ before salvation, he is an identical soul to Judas. He sold Jesus for money. The same way, my ex-husband’s main focus in life is money. Everything is about money to him. It’s disguisting.
Everything I went through, none of it seems fair. You may be sitting in a similar position before the Lord, crying out, “WHY? Why do you allow these bad things in my life. Am I not your child? Do I not live my life as a pattern according to what I know in the Bible? Do you hate me for some reason? Did I sin and not know it?”
The first thing I will say is that you are not alone. Although I don’t condone telling God off, we have no right to judge HIM, humanly speaking, I cannot tell you that I have not myself said all those things and more. A lot more….because you also have to be honest with yourself and God. He already knows your heart. And while I’ve said those things and immediately apologized, they still felt true at the time, in which I told Him as well.
And although He does not owe us an answer (remember God’s response to Job in his pain?), we can gather from the Bible, certain reasons why He allows bad things to happen to His children.
1) He may be testing you
In the Bible, Satan wanted to come along and sift Peter like wheat. Jesus told Peter straight out, “Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat.” God could have stopped that. At any time. But He didn’t. He allowed it to happen to test Peter and to strengthen Peter. You see, Peter would go on to become someone truly amazing for Christ in his life, he just didn’t know it at the time, and that testing and trial would become a very important lesson for Peter to learn.
One other important thing to mention here is that when you are tested and you endure, it proves that you are a genuine Christian. The Bible says that Christians endure. The fakes are weeded out in testings. They fall away from God and never look back. The genuineness of your salvation is proved to yourself and others in times of trials.
2) He is strengthening you
Not very pleasant is the experience of being strengthened, but it is all the more true. God refines us like jewels and it’s only the high temperatures of heat, that melt the impurities off the jewel. In the same way, bad experiences, hard experiences melt off the mundane and point us to greatness for HIS glory. I don’t believe for one minute that my life and this website have nothing to do with each other. What if I tried to teach you how to save money, would I have credibility? But, when I can say, I live on $18k/year and seriously have more than many, it gives me credibility.
When I say, look, four years ago I was homeless, didn’t even have a table or couch, no silverware, NOTHING when I got my first apartment. That speaks volumes. It encourages people. Look what I went through, look at God’s faithfulness, look at all He does for me, blesses beyond comprehension. I get so many people asking me how I do it. The truth is, there’s only one way. And that one way is spoken so loudly to LISTENING people. His name is being put on high. None of that would be possible, this site wouldn’t be possible, without my going through all the muck and Hell I’ve been through.
3) He is using the situation to comfort you
Being by myself, I don’t get comforted much. It’s not like I can just ask my spouse to tell me the good things I should be thankful for when I am feeling depressed. And yes, sometimes I do go through sad times. As I write this, my kids are 16 hours away from me for an entire week. I’ve never spent more than 2 days apart from them in their whole lives. I think I’m handling it worse than they are!
Everyone goes through sad times, and I can’t just turn to my spouse and have him tell me the TRUTH and lift up my spirit and soul.
But there is someone much better. Christ. He wraps His arms around me, shields me, protects me, loves me, and prays for me on my behalf to God.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. ~2 Corinthians 1:3-5
4) He WILL use the situation to comfort others in the future, through you
Just as He comforts us in trials, He also uses our lives, our stories, our past trials to encourage others. Is not that what I am doing right now? That all of my trials show you that there is someone else who has gone through something truly horrible and terrible, yet that Christ did not abandon me, and that He won’t abandon you either. Just as I am sharing my life experiences and trials with you, you do not need a blog to share that same story with others, because the point is, if you are Christian and going through something terrible, you WILL come out the other end. It WILL get better. God promises it’s for our good in Romans 8.
What I went through, all the muck of life and the sin of another, it wasn’t fair in the world’s eyes, but I went through it to stand here today to comfort YOU. God will use me mightily in the future. I will speak to many to encourage them as well. That is why I went through everything I did. He is using me for HIS glory, and although not fun, that IS what I signed up for when I gave my life to Him. To follow Him where-ever He leads, to take up my cross daily, to die to myself, mortify my sins, and to always have hope. Hope that this life is not all there is. That I will endure to the end, through His grace and mercy, and receive my inheritance as a child of God.
5) You may have sinned against Him and He is trying to get your attention
I don’t know about you, but when I sin and God wants to get my attention, He really lays it on thick for me. Man, does He! When I start caring about something else more than Him, He has a way of taking that other thing away. A lot of times, the first thing He goes for is money. Not that I have put that first in my life, but that seems to be my weak spot. When rent is coming due (and my house is not cheap), and I look at my bank account and start to get nervous. It’s become like a huge red flag to me. Am I getting prideful that God is so good to me?
That is definitely something I struggle with. I start to want to take God’s credit. Like, oh yeah, I live on such and such because I’m good with money. Look at all this training I have, my background in banking. Blah. None of that matters if God is not there working with me as a team. I can do my absolute best, but without my partner, I am no good. Likewise, if I’m not doing my job, I can’t expect Him to bless me. It’s a partnership, but when I start to take Him out of the equation, and my heart gets haughty, then He likes to show me who’s boss! He is boss, He is boss, He is boss. Charles is not in charge. God is in charge! lol.