I know it sounds crazy. You might be thinking I’ve gone off the deep end here. How in the world can making more money NOT help you? Before you throw in the towel, hear me out…
There are several reasons why making more money won’t help you
1) It doesn’t matter how much you make, if it all flies out the window
I was not taught personal money management skills and how to spend money wisely as a child. I wish I had that story, but I don’t. There was a time in my life where I was just spending every penny of what I earned. If my income was $2k/month, I’d spend $2100/month. I just wanted everything. I felt like I NEEDED everything to be ‘cool,’ to impress my friends, to impress my enemies (sad huh!), and to be happy. I thought that if only I had THIS one item, I’d be happy. And while it did give me instant gratification, that happiness was fleeting. It didn’t last. I’d need something else to keep that happiness alive, and so I spent and spent and spent. I could have made a million dollars cash a year and spent foolishly. I inerrantly thought that making more money would fix all my problems. That was my problem, I just needed more money. If only I had more money, everything in my life would suddenly be perfect. I’d be happy.
I was wrong. It didn’t matter if I was making $2k/month or a million, it would have all flown out the window just as easily. It wouldn’t have helped me financially because I didn’t know how to spend my money wisely!
2) When a person starts making more, they start taking more
It’s really a sick and twisted way the government is, and yes, I was on welfare in the past, so I do speak from experience. The more you earn, the more they take. The less food stamps you get, the less help they give. They make it almost impossible to get off welfare. Now, I KNOW there are TONS of people who fully take advantage of welfare, but that is between them and the Lord. I’m talking about welfare here. Every penny you save to try to get off the system, they penalize you for, thus keeping you on the system because you can never save enough, fast enough to get off. While there ARE a lot who take advantage, there are also some who want to get off and can’t.
Taxes. Ah, the wonderful world of taxes. Again, the more you make, the more you are penalized. You are in a whole new tax bracket, so you have to pay a ton more money to Uncle Sam. The higher you go, the more you pay. The less you make, the more you get back ironically. I guess they play Robin Hood. Take from the rich to give to the poor. Since I’m considered poor in income, I’m thankful. See, the government really DOES pay me to stay home with my kids, thank you! LOL
3) Pride and superficial friendships
When a person starts making more, most people tend to start getting a big head. Being more prideful. At least that’s how I am. When my income starts going up, I start thinking to myself, how cool I am for being able to do this, be a single SAHM, and how not many can do that, so I must be special. I start forgetting about God and where the money REALLY COMES FROM!!!! I start to take credit for it. Like it’s ALL me. While I do work extremely hard, nothing I have is apart from God, and when I forget that, God shows me! Being prideful will not help you or anyone around you.
Likewise, when you become more affluent, people start being your friend just for the fanciness of it all. You end up not knowing who’s real and who’s just there for selfish purposes. You change. Your spouse changes. Again, the pride sets in. You start having this lifestyle that can become very fake very quickly. I deal with it in the blogging world quite a bit. You never really know if someone wants to be your friend because they truly like you for you, or because they think you’re some famous person, or cool just because you have a blog. Just so I set the record straight, I am far from cool. Loving God took care of that long ago! It’s not cool to be a Christian, not in our world, and I am 100% okay with that! 🙂
4) Stress and fear
The more I make, income-wise, the more stressed out and fearful I become. What if something happens and I lose everything I’ve worked so hard to create? You start worrying about losing it, it can even lead to loss of sleep and health issues as a result. Yes, I’ve been there, I speak from experience. You tend to be more fearful overall. You start trusting in your money and going away from God’s plans.
It becomes very easy to start trusting in your bank account and money than the One providing it, and THAT is a whole ‘nother subject! You start to take your eyes off Christ and look at the temporal. The temporal starts becoming more and more important to you. It reminds me of The Hobbit. Where the…whatever he was supposed to be…says, “my precious.” It was all about the ring. He used to be an upstanding gentleman and look what happened to him in the pursuit of a trinket. Now, I know it’s just a movie, but there are overlaying tones in there which are true in life.
5) Loss of joy and happiness
You know, it’s a total myth that more money produces more happiness and joy. Some of the most happiest people in the world (do your research and look up the stats!) are in poverty. The rich have more to worry about. It drains you physically, emotionally, and mentally. The poor know in Whom they trust. They have to rely on God MORE each day to provide for their needs, so in that way, they are often closer to Christ than the rich. They know whatever they have comes from the Lord. I’m not saying that the rich can’t love God, but I will refer you to the verse where it says a camel has more chance of going through the eye of a needle than a rich man to Heaven. This is not ALWAYS true. I know some very affluent Christian families. But in general, it is very hard for a rich person to choose anything over their money, including God.
6) Greed
The more you get, the more you want. I have experienced this in my life as well. If I was making $500/month, then I’d always want $1k/month, and if making $1k/month, I’d always want $2k/month. I’d always want more and more and more. It was never enough. When my income would go up, mysteriously, so would my bills. It was my own fault, yet, I didn’t see it.
One of the best things that has ever happened in my life was being homeless! Sounds crazy, huh? In that homeless shelter, I learned how to truly be content. When I got my first apartment, I had nothing. No silverware, no table to eat on, no couch to sit on, no plates, bowls, no clothes, nothing. We lived like that for several months. I remember a friend from church donated a bottle of laundry detergent to support me and it made me cry. Crying over laundry detergent. Pretty dumb, right? Not to me. I didn’t have ANYTHING. I was thankful for WHATEVER I could get! The bed I borrowed from the 1980’s that killed my back, whatever it was, I was happy. I was just happy to be out of the homeless shelter! lol.
Listen, I know where I’ve been. I know where I am now. No one will ever convince me I’m not rich. Not when I want for absolutely nothing! My garage has a ceiling fan! Like seriously, who does that? I have a lot, but I will never forget where I was 4 years ago. So, people can say I’m poor for only making $18k/year, that’s fine, but I know the truth is that I have more than many people who make $60k/year. I’m not in any debt and I sleep comfortably and well at night.
What do you want in your life? Still convinced that having more money will solve all your problems? Do you have any of your own tips to share?
Dawn says
I agree with a lot of what you say here, but not everything. It is certainly true that if I made more money, it wouldn’t stay in my bank account long. But that is because I would use it to pay down debt which would be a big help to me as I reduce my interest payments and once the debt payments are gone I would put that money directly toward other goals, such as a down payment on a house.
Sarah says
I see your point Dawn. I hate debt. Let’s say hypothetically you make more money and you pay it on debt, a good chunk is going toward interest, then you’re taxed more income from Uncle Sam on your taxes, so what actually goes on your debt is not really what it seems. Sometimes, it seems hopeless trying to get out of debt. I’ve been there, but I can also give hope in that, it is possible. As a single SAHM I am debt free. I owe no one. My car is even paid for. If I can do it, anyone can. Just keep up those payments and don’t lose hope! Sounds like you are doing a fantastic job! You should share more of your journey on your blog. 🙂
Krystal says
I so agree with you. I finally got a job making more then I ever have, 40k a year. Which is not a lot for some people. But I’m poorer than when I was on unemployment. I moved with my mom. I can’t feed my children the way I use to. I can’t get food stamps. They denied my children free lunch at school. I’m always stressed. I trust God so I have to believe he will work all this out. It’s just a struggle day to day. I’m not even going to talk about the bills & debt.
Sarah says
Ah man Krystal, I really feel for you. I’ve been there. It is exactly true! The second you make more, they take more! They make it near impossible for a person to get off welfare. I started saving money to buy a car when mine was dying because I don’t want loans, and they did not even allow that. They’d rather take all my money than allow a single mom transportation! Even when I had NO transportation for an entire YEAR, they continued to take all my money away, not letting me save up to buy a car! I am not on food stamps by choice, just for that very reason. I walk away from several hundred dollars a month simply because I want to own my own life and not have them control every move I make. They even got in with my kids school and made a lot of trouble for me with a couple teachers now. Nothing concerning money even. They just try to control people. It’s all mind games. I’ve seen it first hand. Got fed up and quit. It is tighter than it COULD be, but I know that because I’m not bound by what I make, I can make whatever I want, in the long run, I’ll be better off for it. When I make more, it stays with ME! Where it should!!! You might just be better off in the long run getting cut off by them and it’s a blessing in disguise! 🙂
Jen P. says
I totally agree with Uncle Sam taking more when you make more! My hubs-to-be and I just moved to New York from Florida and taxes are higher up here. So even though his salary went up a tad, the amount actually coming into our pocket is much less! We’re also “training” ourselves to live on less than we make because it is so easy to fall into that trap of spending more when you make more.
Elise says
After sitting here and digesting this for a while, I have to well, not so much disagree, as I feel that this is true with a qualifier.
Having more money is only helpful if you have a plan. If you’re sticking to a plan, or budget, or whatever you want to call it, having more money can be tremendously helpful in paying down debt, saving for retirement, kids college or whatever.
Just my thoughts. 🙂
John says
It’s true that making more money is not a guarantee that you will save more money. That’s exactly what we need to change if we wanna start getting ahead and accumulating real wealth for the future.
I’m not a stay at home mom, but I hope to one day be a work from home dad. I want to put the pieces in place now for a financially free future that I can spend with my wife and daughter free of the stress that comes with bills.
Crystal S says
Hi Sarah! I am a fairly new sahm with a little girl and a boy due in January. I found your blog to be extremely helpful as I make this journey as a SAHM. I have worked since I was old enough to get a job because my parents were divorced and barely making it and couldn’t keep up with my siblings and my wants/needs as we got older so being a sahm has been a really tough transition for me. Like I said it’s all fairly new to me so I had a question about filing taxes. Do you file taxes every year and is it just for yourself and your husband gets the kids or do you put the kids on yours? And do you claim single? I know your blog says single sahm but I wasn’t sure on the taxes. Do you file jointly? I know your not a tax expert but I thought maybe you could give me some tips on how you do your taxes. I also wanted to say how much I love hearing you talk about God in almost all of your blog posts, a lot of the things you say has opened my eyes in a whole different way about my faith. Thank you for all your help! Keep up the great work! Crystal S.
Sarah says
Glad you’re here Crystal. 🙂 I will keep you in prayer as you journey through being a new SAHM. The sacrifices you make are well worth it. I grew up with a single mom who didn’t have the opportunities we have today. She came home from working all day tired. When I did see her, it wasn’t quality time. I basically grew up without parents; babysitter after babysitter, and they didn’t invest in me either. I am determined to have a different life for my kids. As for filing taxes, you’ll want to talk to a tax preparer. I suggest doing some research, getting some referrals, and acquiring a good one. I have a fantastic CPA, and would never attempt to do that on my own; I just personally do not have that knowledge. As for how I file, yes, I file by myself and have done so since the day he left. Of course, I cannot control what he does and there is illegal activity on his part. It never ceases to amaze me how much illegal activity he gets away with since I’ve known him the last 14 years, but, I know this…God does not overlook crimes, and I just have to focus on myself and not get sucked up into what others are doing or not doing. That’s not always easy, but I try my best. 🙂